Feed the ONE that Matters

As the shadow of back to school is almost over, summer fun is coming to an end too. That means it’s time to get serious and go back to work.   Wait, but I don’t have a paid job, just yet.  I’ve been pregnant for the past 10 years with my career self.  Finding an overvalued passion, my true calling and constantly undermining my own skills and abilities resulted in one spontaneous abortion after the other. However, last fetus not only survived the pregnancy, but was born into a beautiful, strong project that I’m currently breast feeding with writing, social media, even my own YouTube channel and non-stop learning.  She’ll soon be able to walk and hopefully will grow to live her full potential and become the speaker we both envision.  The truth is, this baby was not born because I found THE passion, but rather because I experienced the difference between passion and purpose and let them coexist and feed each other, rather than letting them compete for a leading role in my life.

My passion was not to be a mother, but without a doubt, my 4 children will be my biggest legacy, blessing and life experience. To be a mother is one of my purposes. The problem is that depending on your perception, it could be fortunate or not to realize that motherhood alone is not enough for some women, myself included. Does it mean we have more than one purpose in life? Absolutely!

Motherhood, in particular, is fueled not by passion, but by the universal and most powerful energy that humans know: love.  I am certainly not passionate about changing diapers, managing tantrums, breaking up sibling fights, wiping runny noses, stepping over Legos, having my car as desk or singing row, row, row your boat, even in my head. I’m passionate about raising decent human beings that can thrive, are kind, open minded, embrace diversity and are authentic with skills under their belt that include culture, a sport, a hobby, a second language and a formal education. That right there is as challenging as it gets my friends! Infinite love sustains this purpose of motherhood and diminishes its collateral damage:  labor pain, broken sleeping patterns, stubborn belly fat or any fat, body changes, exponential effect of gravity in your body, stretch marks and calcium depletion just to name a few.  Another consequence, depending on how you perceive and live it, a career is put on hold for those of us who for a period can’t multitask work and home, or simply choose not to. The beautiful thing is that your other purpose, if any, doesn’t get shouted by motherhood. It patiently awaits the right time to unfold.   More than often, this calling feel as if you are your own cage and something inside is trapped and begs to be let out. It can get painful, asphyxiating and loud.  It screams to be free. That is a purpose!  Purpose it is not fed by recognition, nor is a tool to define your own worthiness.  It’s simply your inner most necessity of giving back to humanity, in any shape or form that you find suitable to do so.  Some find purpose in painting, dancing, writing, healing, selling, praying, finding justice, creating and doing anything that can impact positively other human beings.

Enjoying or even getting a bit obsessed with cooking, yoga, painting, spinning, threading, you name it! Those are passions. Think of it more in the hobby spectrum.   One can be passionate about one or many things at once. Passions change, they ignite action and provide self and instant gratification.  They live in the present moment and are temporary. Purpose feeds the soul because it serves others, it’s a long-term commitment, in fact, it’s your life’s mission, the reason to exist, your mark.  Purpose aligns your soul with your personality, passion feeds your personality only. Your purpose could be to change one person, or millions, it doesn’t matter if it’s yours; own it!  Shape your passions to feed and serve your purpose and not the other way around.

When you realize your purpose, especially if this happens later in life, your ego is not offended by how late you start to work towards it.  In fact, if you listen too much to your ego, you will never start. It will constantly question your ability and demand unrealistic credentials; it will bully you. Purpose frees you and it’s the “feel good” pill.  It’s not necessarily about the final product, but the process, the journey.  On the other hand, think about how many people realize in their 40s they want to be a doctor, I hope no many because that calling usually shows early enough in life for the person to follow it. Purpose gives you the stamina to fit it in your busy day. If all you can do is 10 minutes, don’t question it, just do it.  It will organically fit into your life when the moment is right, but it needs your commitment to flourish. Purpose doesn’t look back and thinks the time before was wasted, rather acknowledges the experience gained that led to its discovery. The purpose is far from evil and judgmental, it is compassionate, patient and loving.  As we all should be to ourselves and others.

It took me deep soul searching, painful at times, to understand my purpose. I’m truly not where I want to be, but my worth is at its peak, because my worth it is not about what I do in life, the state of my marriage or relationships, what I accomplished or have and certainly not about followers and likes. It’s rather about who I am.  I am love, I am creativity, I am a communicator, a constant learner, a growth mindset.

I want to go back into the working field, not to practice my degree on computer engineer, but I want to be a speaker. I want to inspire, teach, motivate, transform the guy who thinks will get to the top by pushing others down, give effort its right place in a society used to an overrated try, lift people up, demonstrate that connections are king, intuition is our greatest advisor and the time for us to think productivity comes from the mind only and not from the heart, won’t sustain businesses, innovation, and happiness. 

As I start looking for speaking gigs and experiences, I enjoyed putting my CV together, where you can find about my workshops and talks.  It’s with an utmost honesty I share it with all of you. Click here for: My Honest CV.

Adriana BreaComment